Monday, October 20, 2003

I think what I just said got deleted... I might have to say the shortened version of it. Basically I'm sick and tired of people ignoring me. I feel like a cry baby for saying I need more attention or something but when people routinely ignore you what else are you to do? I dunno... I feel like I bother Kelly when I try to talk to her. Anyone for that matter really.... I ask Kelly something and I get a short answer and she goes back to homework. She's ALWAYS doing homework so basically that's always the situation. It just sucks sometimes.... It's not like I'm not being assertive. It's not like I'm trying to be over looked or being quite about what I say or ask... It just seems like most people simply don't care. I've dealt with this basically my whole life. I'm feeling like that really isn't going to change so I don't really know why I'm rambling on about it on my blog. I guess I'm just tired of it all. I feel like I deserve to be heard and respected and people aren't really giving me what I deserve. I hate to complain.... I feel like I complain all the time. I guess I just don't know what to do to make people care more....

~*Happiness is not a fish that you can catch.*~ 11:52 PM

Super!! You are WILLEM DE KOONING.
You think just like you paint: in the abstract. You
live well outside of the box and never know
where life will take you next. Your friends
admire your ability to fearlessly veer away
from the boundaries of society.


Which famous artist most reflects your personality?
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Zap! You're a THUNDERSTORM.
Your temper comes fast and does maximum damage when
it does.
Often you begin to grumble before you let your
anger out.
Those who know you know to get the hell out of your
way when you start to get upset.


What DIRE WEATHER FORECAST do you turn into when you're angry?
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~*Happiness is not a fish that you can catch.*~ 9:45 PM

Why is it so hard to get motivation? It sucks... I'll be like.. I'm sooo gonna do homework tonight. What do I do? I watch tv forever. Grr... I need to just sit down and do it. I have stuff I could be doing to make sure that this week is as stress free as possible and I just haven't really been doing that. I dunno.... I haven't really been feeling great lately. I miss having people who really care about me being around. I feel like I'm really doing everything entirely on my own. That's a good thing to some extent.... I just wish I had people really backing me up. I hate it that I complain so much. I know I bring it all on myself. I mean... I could study more. I could do a whole lot of other stuff more. Why is it so hard to do what I know I need to do????

~*Happiness is not a fish that you can catch.*~ 9:39 PM